I chose this background as a symbolic
representation of me and my inner child Allie. There is nothing more pure and
angelic then the innocence of a child no matther what the age. I sometimes feel bad
that I could not do more for Allie, and I wish I knew how to help her now. Allie is
very real, and she needs to be allowed to feel the things that she could not when she was
little. I have not been diagnosed with MPD just an inner child that needs to be heard, loved, understood,
wanted, and cared about.
* I am the
author of both of these items, please do not use without my permission.
The following stuff I wrote is just some
feelings I have today and needed to get them out... 3/28/00
The little girl inside of
me....
There is a little girl that lives inside of me, sometimes she is 3, sometimes she is 6,
sometimes she is 10.
This little girl that lives inside of me is frightened, timid, and hurt. She is also
untrusting, insecure, and unsure.
Day by day she wears a mask to hide all that hurts her, day by day she builds the wall a
little higher, this little girl does not want you to see her tears, for that would mean
she is weak, this little girl does not want you to see her fears for this would also mean
she is weak.
The little girl that lives inside of me wants everyone to stay away from her so they can't
hurt her, while the adult in me wants to reach for your hand and walk down a serene and
tranquil path on the way to recovery.
The little girl that lives inside of me was robbed of her youth, her very being stolen at
a young tender age, she was forced to grow up far beyond her delicate age and
do things that she didn't like.
She was a product of something but unsure of what, cause her "mommy" couldn't
have loved her, and her "daddy" just left her.
The little girl living inside of me is struggling at this very moment, she longs for
someone to hold her, cuddle her, love her for her, she longs to hear someone say "I
want You" "I love you". She longs to belong somewhere, to somebody.
The little girl inside of me is VERY confused, very lost, very lonely. The adult in
me feels like disappearing forever, who do you listen to? Which direction do you go?
Yes I am that little girl, scared, shaken, timid, abused, and so very confused. I
try to hard so help that little girl in me, but I can't.
Hi, you know me,
I'm the one who sat in front of you crying,
I'm the one that you knowingly or unknowingly waved off.
I'm the one that reached out a hand,
I'm the one you pushed aside.
I'm the one who begged you for help,
I'm the one who you brushed past.
I'm the one who sought love, understanding, and compassion from a fellow human being,
I am the one who feels hurt and lonely because you ignored me.
I am the one who tried to tell you my hopes, fears, dreams, and ambitions,
I am the one you made feel unimportant enough to listen to.
I am the one asking you to stop and listen.
Will you?
I am the one reaching for the life preserver in my lifes deepest oceans of troubles,
Will you throw it to me, or watch me drown?
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Last Updated : Sunday, August 12, 2001
© 2000-2001 Tina
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